Cupid's Arrow of Doom
by Kuwabara Shizuru
Summary: It's Valentine's Day at Casper High and Danny is suddenly and inexplicably the most sought-after boy in the entire school! Can Sam figure out why before all that attention rubs Danny the wrong way - out? Complete! Check back soon for "Flame War"!
1. Chapter 1

Danny Phantom, , Episode 38: Cupid's Arrow of Doom (Chapter 1)

A Danny Phantom fanfiction by Dustin M. Dixon

* * *

Disclaimer: I own no one from this show. All characters are the intellectual property of Butch Hartman, this is just something I've written for fun. With that said, enjoy!

* * *

Fade-in, Casper High. School has begun letting out, and our three heroes were doing what they always do after class let out for the day: booking it toward the entrance! However, as Danny ran, he noticed Valerie walking by and his expression changed from sheer panic to love-struck in a heartbeat. Tucker, noticing both this AND what they were about to run into, turned toward Danny and spoke up.

"Dude, I know you're still hung up over Valerie, but WE'RE ABOUT TO RUN INTO THE BOX GHOST!"

"GAH!" Danny shouted, turning his head back in time. "…Wait, why am I screaming? He sucks."

"BEWARE! For I, the BOX GHOST, have returned to wreak my corrugated cardboard vengeance on you! …AGAIN!" he shouted, throwing up his arms as menacingly as he could, which to Danny registered a 1 on the "menacing" scale.

"Do you EVER take a break from trying to bore us to death?" Sam asked, her eyes slanting in anger.

"NEVER!" The Box Ghost nearly shrieked. "…Uh, I mean… BEWARE! For my boxes come with a special surprise!" he pulled a large roll of bubble wrap from a box floating next to him. "THE BUBBLE WRAP OF DEATH!" Rather than wrap Danny, Sam, and Tucker up with it, however, he tossed the entire roll at Danny, which bounced harmlessly off of him as he looked on, growing rather bored.

"Oh no, bubble wrap." Sam said, her eyes narrowed in boredom. "Who could possibly save us now?"

"So don't have time for this!" Danny said. "This is the first night in FOREVER that I actually don't have any homework, and you're ALREADY ruining it! NOW GET IN THE THERMOS!" he finished, breathing heavily.

"Geez Danny, calm down. You're gonna make him wet himself." Tucker snickered.

"NOW TASTE YOUR CARDBOARD DOOM!" the Box Ghost shouted, tossing an empty cardboard box at Danny, who once again just stood there, a bored expression seemingly plastered to his face as it connected harmlessly.

"My doctor said I needed to cut down on cardboard. Too many carbs." Danny snickered, and Sam and Tucker joined in as he whipped out the Fenton Thermos and pressed the small green button on the side, releasing the containment beam, which sucked up the Box Ghost. As he disappeared into the thermos, he could be heard shouting "I SHALL RETURN! YOUR CYLINDRICAL CONTAINER CANNOT CONFINE ME FOREVER!"

"Funny…" Tucker shrugged. "It's doing EXACTLY that right now."

"Good, now we can go back to my pla—" he was cut off by being shoved into the wall by the person he least wanted to see at this point.

"Watch it, Fen-TURD." Dash snarled. "I've got a date with no homework from Lancer tonight! …Oh, and Paulina. Get in my way like this again and you have a date with the Tank." He finished by grinning and walking off, leaving Danny to shudder.

"…The Tank?" Sam looked confused.

"Dash moved on to swirlies." Danny groaned.

"He said stuffing nerds in lockers has lost its charm…" Tucker trailed off. "Wait… did he just say he had a date with Paulina?"

"You're surprised by this?" Sam's eyes narrowed. Just then, Valerie walked by once again. She smiled warmly and waved at Danny, who returned both of her gestures with a sigh of "Paulina who?" after she was out of earshot. Danny then walked away, whistling.

"…YES!" Sam threw her arms up, letting the papers she was carrying scatter all over the area they were standing in. "We broke the habit, Tucker! This is a milestone!"

"You do realize he's channeling all that Paulina obsession toward another girl you don't like, right?"

* * *

Just outside the school, Danny ran along the sidewalk to catch up to the current object of his affections.

"Hey, Valerie! Wait!"

"Oh, hey Danny." She turned around to acknowledge him.

"Listen… I have two tickets to the Dumpty Humpty concert tomorrow night. You wanna go with me?" This prompted a sad frown from Valerie, which in turn prompted Danny to continue. "Third row! Music so loud we won't be able to hear anything for the rest of the night! Afterward I'll take you to Chez Nasty! C'mon, it's Valentine's Day!"

"…I'm sorry, Danny. I like you, but…" Valerie trailed off.

"Your job, right?" Danny looked crushed as he averted his gaze from her.

"I'm REALLY sorry…"

"No, no… it's cool. I understand." Danny lied. "…See ya later." He started walking off, and as he did, the "camera" zoomed out to reveal that he was being watched…

* * *

"So… that's the kid, huh? Yeah, he looks like his love life could use a little boost." said a small winged humanoid, no more than three feet tall, with a pink cowlick, blue eyes, a pink and white tuxedo with heart buttons, and a diaper.

"This isn't about helping the lad, Cupid." answered a sinister voice from the shadows. "…This is about completely overwhelming him!"

"You're the boss!" was Cupid's reply. "So… every girl in Casper High, tomorrow… you realize this is going to be a pretty tall order… I'm gonna need some major compensation for this." The shadowy figure reached out his black glove-clad hand, dropping a large sack full of hundred dollar bills. Cupid's blue eyes were temporarily replaced by dollar signs as he grabbed up the sack. "Now we're talking business!"

"And there's plenty more where that came from, so long as you fulfill your part of the bargain…" Cupid grinned widely as he poofed away. The shadowy figured then laughed. "Happy Valentine's Day, Daniel… consider this a gift…" As he paused from his dramatic reveal, he stepped out of the shadows and a ring formed at his midsection, dividing into two and changing him back into his human form: Vlad Masters. "…From your dear Uncle Vlad." He finished with a maniacal laugh.

* * *

*=whisper  
*he's a phantom  
*danny Phan- Danny phan- danny phantom

Yo Danny Fenton he was just 14 when his parents built a very  
strange machine

Designed to view a world unseen  
(he's gonna catch em all cuz he's Danny Phantom phantom)

When it didn't quite work his  
folks they just quit then Danny took a look inside of it  
there was a great big flash  
everything just changed  
his molecules got all rearranged

(phantom phantom)

When he first woke up he had realized he had snow white hair  
and glowin green eyes  
he could walk through walls  
dissappear and fly  
he was much more unique then the other guy  
and it was then danny knew what he had to do  
he had to stop all the ghosts that were comin through  
he's here to fight for me and you

(he's gonna catch em all cuz he's Danny Phantom gonna catch em all  
cuz he's Danny Phantom gonna catch em all cuz he's)

* He's Danny Phantom

* * *

(Title) Cupid's Arrow of Doom

(Subtitle) You'll love this one to death!

(Jingle) Electric Guitar

(Image) Danny is pressed up against a pane of glass, looking horrified as he's surrounded by a zombie-like horde of girls with hearts in their eyes. Above them, the shadowy form of Cupid grins wickedly as he draws back on his bow, aiming at Danny.

Special Guest Voice: Tom Kenny as Cupid


	2. Chapter 2

Cupid's Arrow of Doom, Chapter 2

A Danny Phantom fanfiction by Dustin M. Dixon

* * *

As Danny walked in through the front door of his house, the warm, inviting smell of cookies perked him up slightly. He walked into the kitchen to see heart-shaped cookies lying on a plate, which was itself lying on the kitchen table. As all of this came into view, Danny also noticed Jack trying to snatch a cookie off the top of the plate, only for him to be smacked on the hand by Jazz, who frowned at him.

"Dad, cut it out!" she nearly shouted. "These cookies are for the teachers and my fellow classmates!"

"Who happen to be guys." Danny commented dryly.

"Who happen to be g—GAH!" Jazz clutched her head with her hands before grinning awkwardly up at Jack's stern face. "He-he's kidding of course."

"I bet Brad will be happy to hear that!" Danny grinned, pointing toward his older sister while winking.

"Brad?!" Jack looked stunned. "You have another boyfriend?! AWESOME! " he ran down the stairs, presumably to grab the Anti-Creep Stick. Jazz ran over to the stairs and called down after him.

"Dad, no! He's just a friend!" she called out in a panic, before angrily turning to Danny, just as Sam and Tucker walked in. "What's WITH you?!"

"Valerie turned him down for the Dumpty Humpty concert." Sam frowned.

"Thanks for reminding me." Danny scowled. "Sometimes I wish I didn't have these… you know… ghost powers…" he finished quietly. "It'd make it a lot easier for the one girl who likes me for me to, you know… not have a… ghost-hunting career…"

"Why are you whispering? The lab's soundproof." Jazz shrugged.

"But the stairwell leading DOWN to the lab ISN'T." Danny pointed out. A slight pause occurred between the four teenagers before Tucker spoke up again.

"Maybe it's time to consider ANOTHER option date-wise?" he grinned slyly, glancing over toward Sam, who suddenly grinned awkwardly before elbowing Tucker hard in the stomach.

"_SHUT IT_." She whispered harshly before resuming the grin. "So why don't we get on up to your room and figure out something to do for the rest of the evening?"

"Whatever." Danny shrugged, and the three friends left the kitchen. Jazz stood there for a minute before realizing that the new batch of cookies had been in the oven for too long.

"My cookies!"

* * *

As Tucker shut the door behind him, he watched Danny fall onto his bed. "Man, you're really bummed about this whole Valerie thing."

"She actually accepted me for who I am."

"WRONG. She accepted Danny FENTON for who he is… or HALF is… you get the point!" Sam argued.

"Is this the rest of high school?" Danny continued, seemingly ignoring Sam. "Am I gonna be a dateless loser for the rest of my teenage life?"

"Only till college." Sam didn't miss a beat responding to him. "Then everyone's standards drop." She smirked. "Ah, the crushing stone hand of higher education. I love you, college."

"Reassuring." Danny smirked half-heartedly. "Man…" he sighed as he pulled out one of Jazz's cookies. "Happy early Singles Awareness Day."

"You stole one of Jazz's cookies? Man, she is gonna KILL you." Tucker looked horrified.

"She'll have to realize I took it first." Danny smirked.

"What's with her today anyway?" Sam asked.

"This is like the ONE day of the year Jazz acts like a normal teenager instead of the brainiac we all know." Danny explained.

"But it's not even Valentine's Day yet." Sam shrugged.

"This is just like that time in first grade, remember Danny?" Tucker asked.

"Oh yeah… what was that guy's name? Ted?"

"It was Ned. Anyway, Jazz had their mom bake cookies the day before Valentine's Day." Tucker continued. "Seeing as this was third grade and all, he didn't exactly think of her that way. She was pretty devastated… I mean, for like the rest of the day. The next morning, she was back to normal."

"Wow, just like that?" Sam looked surprised.

"Just like that."

"Could we talk about something OTHER than some guy my sister had a crush on nine years ago?"

"Well, we DID come up here to talk about what we're gonna do. Movie or Nasty Burger?" Sam asked.

"Cyber Cop 3: The Revengening!" Tucker suggested. "It's action-y!"

"And violent." Danny pointed out. "Sure, let's go watch that!" Sam merely shrugged as the three got up and started for the door again, only to hear his sister screaming angrily.

"DANNY! GIVE ME BACK MY COOKIE!"

"Uh… leave out the window?" Tucker asked. Hearing the sound of Jazz stomping upstairs caused Danny to quickly agree, turn into his ghostly alter-ego, and fly his two friends out of the window intangibly.

* * *

On the following day, in the wee hours of the morning as school began at Casper High, Cupid and Vlad stood upon the rooftop of the educational facility.

"Now normally I hit people with arrows that make them fall for the first person they see…" Cupid started to explain. "…but since the odds of every girl in Casper High seeing this Danny kid are a million to one, I'm gonna work my special arrows… I just need some of his DNA."

"Oh, that's simple. I've been carrying around a jar with his ectoplasm in it for a while now." Vlad chuckled.

"…You kept a jar with his ectoplasm… why?"

"Well, I mean, I'd meant to use it as a secondary sample to clone Daniel, but I suppose I could let you borrow a tiny speck of it." Vlad reasoned.

"Oh. Well then fork it over!" Cupid held out his hand, and Vlad handed him the jar, from which he dabbed a cotton swab onto a small portion of the ectoplasm. From there, he touched the swab to a brightly-glowing arrow. "One of these babies will make every girl in Casper High fall in love with Danny Fenton!" He loaded the special arrow onto his bow and poofed away, appearing in the sky above, where he drew back the string on his bow and let the special arrow fly…

* * *

Meanwhile, Danny, Sam, and Tucker met at the front doors to Casper High.

"Man, that was a letdown. Great call, Tucker." Sam rolled her eyes.

"Hey, how was I supposed to know the third film was gonna reek?!"

"Four words, Tuck: Beverly Hills Cop 3." Danny's eyes narrowed in disappointment.

"Why did you bring that up? What did I do to you?!" Tucker looked horrified.

"FIVE words, Tucker." Danny retorted. "Cyber Cop 3: The Revengencing."

"I'm sorry already!" Tucker cringed.

"Oh come on Danny…" Sam said, changing her tune somewhat from the last time she'd spoken up. "It wasn't ALL bad! Remember the guy who threw up in the front row? Hilarious!" she grinned widely.

"Sorry Sam, I don't really have much of a sense of humor today." Danny sighed, not even noticing Paulina and Star calling out to him as he passed them by. Sam, however, took heed of it.

"Did Star just call you by your first name?" Sam looked understandably weirded out.

"That IS pretty weird." Tucker pointed out. "Usually she calls you 'Fenton' or 'freak' or 'weirdo'."

"He gets the point, Tucker." Sam's eyes narrowed in boredom, as she started taking notice that they were gaining quite the female following. "Well… this is new." At this moment, Danny finally noticed what was going on.

"…Whoa. Do I have something on my back or some other such nonsense?"

"Yes you do, Danny." Paulina spoke up. "You have ME." She then hugged him tightly.

"Back off, Paulina! He's MINE!" Star shouted, shoving Paulina off of Danny.

"In your dreams!" Paulina scoffed.

"BRING IT!" Star screamed, brandishing her perfectly manicured nails.

"Oh, it has been BROUGHT!" Paulina mirrored Star's action, and soon all the girls that had begun to follow Danny, Sam, and Tucker were at each others' throats.

"Dude… girls are FIGHTING OVER YOU." Tucker's shock knew no bounds.

"…" Danny stared on for a moment, his jaw slack, before he did the only thing he could do… show off his biggest, widest, cheesiest grin ever.


	3. Chapter 3

Cupid's Arrow of Doom, Chapter 3

A Danny Phantom fanfiction by Dustin M. Dixon

* * *

"This… is… AWESOME!" Danny shouted gleefully as he put his arms around Paulina and Star.

"Of course it is." Sam slapped her face with her left hand angrily. After seeing Danny walk off, Tucker added "Well, so much for breaking him of the habit."

"I don't know, Tucker… didn't they seem odd to you?"

"Odd how?"

"Like you pointed out a few minutes ago, when's the last time Star ever called Danny by his first name?"

"Never comes to mind." Tucker shrugged. "So Danny finally caught a lucky break. It's not like you were reaching out for him… you know, like that."

"Oh for crying out loud." Sam slapped her forehead. "I'm not on trial here! We're going to get to the bottom of this if it kills me!"

"I REALLY don't think it'll come to that… unless you ask him out. Then Paulina and Star might tear you to shreds." The bell for first period started to ring. "Why don't we worry about that after class? I really don't want to get on Tetslaff's bad side!"

"Fine, fine…" she sighed, as she joined Tucker in walking toward Health class, not noticing the floating winged humanoid above them…

"Vlad said hit the bestie as well…" he said, cupping his chin in his left hand. "I really don't get it, but he's the boss… the boss with REALLY fat bags of cash. Prepare to fall in love with the first girl you lay eyes on…" He sighed dreamily, as he nocked another love arrow into his bow and took aim…

"YE-OUUUCH!" Tucker cried out, feeling a sharp pain in his butt.

"What happened to you?" Sam asked.

"I don't know…" Tucker replied, starting to turn. "I just felt a—" he cut himself off as exactly what Cupid predicted happened… as his eyes fell on the first girl he could see…

"…Tuck?" Sam shook her hand in front of his face. "You okay? You just kinda trailed off when you saw Jazz." Sure enough, Tucker's eyes had fallen upon Jazz rounding the corner toward her first period class.

"Better than ever…" Tucker sighed dreamily. "I have to… go do… stuff! Yeah, that's it! Stuff!"

"O… kay… what happened to going to class?"

"What class?"

"…Health… like we've had EVERY DAY THIS YEAR!" Sam's left hand met once again with her forehead. "Tucker, what's wrong with you?" No response. "TUCKER!"

"Who's Tucker?" he responded, seeming to be under some sort of trance, much like Danny had been the prior day with Valerie…

"Oh. My. GOD." Sam's eyes were as wide as they could be upon the realization of what was occurring. She then burst into riotous laughter.

"What's so funny?!" Tucker snapped out of his dreamlike state momentarily.

"You have a crush on our best friend's SISTER!"

"N… No I don't!" he defended. "But if you'll excuse me, she DID head in the same direction I just so happen to be going to do that stuff I was talking about!" he then took off in a flash, leaving only a dust cloud in his wake.

"Tu…" she trailed off, realizing he was gone, and then frowning.

* * *

"And so if you take the square root of the hypotenuse…" Mr. Falluca prattled on during his lecture.

"You get boredom squared…" the brown-haired apple of Jazz's eye, Brad, whispered to a friend, causing her to giggle slightly, having overheard the boy.

"Dude, that brainiac thought that was funny." The friend whispered back.

"That is so…" he started, but cut himself off as he noticed Tucker up against the door. "Isn't that that Foley kid?"

"Oh yeah. Techno Geek Tuck!" the friend whispered. This caused Jazz to turn toward the door, where she saw Tucker waving excitedly. She returned the wave with an awkward smile.

"Miss Fenton, is there something you want to share with the rest of the class?" Mr. Falluca suddenly spoke up.

"Uh… no sir." She lowered her hand, a slight blush on her face as she heard a few snickers. She then raised her hand, while at the same time, eyeing over at Tucker and making motions with her head for him to move away from the door, which he gleefully obeyed.

"Yes, Miss Fenton?"

"May I be excused for a minute? Nature calls."

"Already? It's only been five minutes."

"Uh… I drank a LOT of water this morning?" she grinned widely, hoping that he'd buy her little white lie.

"Very well… you're more than caught up here anyway. Here's the hall pass." Mr. Falluca handed over the hall pass, which Jazz grabbed as she marched quickly toward the door. As she stepped outside, she immediately beckoned to Tucker, who almost seemed to float toward her. "What are you doing? Is Danny in trouble?"

"Quite the opposite." Tucker sighed.

"Oh… well then, why are you here? Shouldn't you be in class?"

"I probably should, but… uh…" Tucker trailed off, visibly sweating. "Darn anti-persperant deodorant!" he cursed the brand that he had decided to stick with.

"O… kay… so why don't you head to class before Miss Tetslaff REALLY gets upset, and you can tell me whatever it is you were going to say… later." Jazz shrugged.

"Sure, later. Like, maybe lunch?" Tucker looked hopeful.

"Sure, lunch. Lunch is good." Jazz looked perplexed as Tucker did an arm pump of victory before walking off. "That was weird."

* * *

"So what do you have for me, Cupid?" Vlad asked, rubbing his right hand's fingers and thumb together.

"The girls of the school are all gaga over Danny Fenton… except for the goth girl."

"I suppose it doesn't work on her since she already has a crush on the boy, then?"

"Nope, not at all. I also hit the kid's best friend."

"I assume he fell for Miss Manson, then?"

"Not a bit. He saw this one redhead and totally fell for her."

"Redhead?" Vlad put on a devious smirk as he peeked through the ceiling of the building and spotted Tucker walking away from Jazz. "Oh HO, that's even more devious… he's fallen for Daniel's big sister! In fact, that gives me another devious idea…" he trailed off, grinning wickedly as he whispered to Cupid, who also sported a wicked grin upon hearing the plan. He let an arrow fly just as Jazz turned around, and…

"OW!" she shrieked, turning around. "Tucker, wh—" she trailed off, spying his retreating form before smiling wavily. "Oh MY… when did he get so handsome?" she trailed off, her eyes narrowing as her mind presumably wandered to thoughts of the young techno-savvy Tucker, before she walked off in his general direction. As it so happened, Sam had also been on a trip to the bathroom/ mission of mercy to get Tucker to class as she heard the whole conversation between Tucker and Jazz. "Oh. My. GOD." she gasped, her left eye twitching in horror. "Jazz has a crush on TUCKER!"


	4. Chapter 4

Cupid's Arrow of Doom, Chapter 4

A Danny Phantom fanfiction by Dustin M. Dixon

* * *

Meanwhile, in class, Danny sat at the center of the room, surrounded by every girl in the class, sans Valerie, who was sitting in the back with what appeared to be a look of longing on her face. "Man…" he trailed off dreamily. "This is the LIFE. Valentine's Day rocks!"

"Fenton!" Tetslaff barked angrily, leering over him. "Stop hogging the attention of every girl in class! This is important stuff you'll need to know in the future!"

"Hey! I can't help it if I'm…" he started, waiting for one of the girls to fill in the blank.

"Dreamy!" Paulina spoke up.

"Delicious!" Star added.

"An absolute hunk!" A third girl chimed in.

"Yes. Those things." Danny smirked, then noticed the girls had stopped momentarily. "I know the big three have already been covered, ladies, but feel free to keep showering me with compliments ANYTIME." He finished by winking and pointing toward the crowd of young women around him. The girls all sighed dreamily in response.

"I think I'm gonna be sick…" Sam said, as she entered the room and took her seat by Valerie.

"What took you so long?" Valerie griped.

"Is that some hostility I detect?" Sam smirked as she whispered to the young fellow black-haired girl. "I thought you didn't want to go out with him."

"I never said that… I CAN'T go out with him, Sam." Valerie sighed. "I have a job. I can't quit it, either." She glanced back over at Sam. "What about you? You said you were gonna be sick."

"Well yeah!" Sam piped up. "Because none of these girls have EVER been interested in going out with him!"

"That IS weird." Valerie's eyebrows raised. "In FACT…" she trailed off, raising her hand. "Miss Tetslaff, I need to go to the bathroom!"

"What is it with you people and the bathroom today?" Tetslaff looked a might bit perturbed, before sighing and saying " Fine, go on. Manson! Give Gray the hall pass!" Sam reluctantly followed orders, handing over her hall pass to Valerie, who dashed quickly out of the room.

* * *

As Valerie entered the bathroom, she quickly ducked into a stall, her sleek new ghost-hunting suit forming around her. As it finished assembling, Valerie immediately activated the suit's intangibility mode and flew through the ceiling.

"I don't know what's happening, but I'm not about to let Danny get hurt…" she snarled, determination in her voice as she appeared on the second floor. Just then, as she went tangible again, she was blasted against the blackboard. "Uhh…" she moaned, struggling to stay conscious from the attack.

"Well well, if it isn't Amity Park's NON-ghost ghost hunter!" Plasmius grinned down at the young girl as he walked toward her.

"You're the ghost that was… fighting side by side with Danny Phantom…" she gasped.

"Yes I am. Allow me to introduce myself." Plasmius nodded satisfactorily. "Plasmius. Vlad Plasmius. And you're—"

"Gonna kick your butt!" Valerie responded, a miniature ecto-gun forming on the right wrist of her suit, which she fired immediately, sending Vlad into the nearest wall. "I don't know how or WHY you've turned every girl's affection to Danny Fenton—"

"Of course you don't, foolish girl! You're 15!" Plasmius shouted angrily, before composing himself once more, smirking as he continued. "Let's just say that Danny Fenton has had this coming for a long time…"

"I'm not gonna pretend I'm even following… but this ends here before whatever you're planning can get any further off the ground!" Valerie took aim once again, before… "OUCH!" she shouted, feeling a pain in her butt suddenly.

"What took you so long?!" Plasmius griped, and Valerie turned to see Cupid floating in midair.

"A new ghost…?" she asked, before firing an ecto blast at the fairy, who simply yawned.

"I'm afraid Cupid's not a ghost, dear girl. But he has given me an edge in this little encounter of ours." He then immediately shot a purple ecto beam over Valerie's eyes. "And since we can't have anyone in our way… you'll just have to join the masses!" He grinned wickedly, grabbing Valerie's arms and floating her through the blackboard and then to the classroom down below. As he caught sight of the target, he allowed the makeshift blindfold to disappear, causing Valerie to catch sight of Danny…

"Yes yes…" Plasmius grinned evilly. "Take it all in… pretty soon you'll forget all about me and Cupid because you're too busy being distracted by your raging pheromones!"

"…Huh?" Valerie asked as her suit de-powered, causing her to revert to her average 15 year old self. Sure enough, she paid no attention to who had previously been holding on to her as she dropped to the floor, just as most of the class, Tetslaff included, had left due to the ringing of the second bell. Danny, however, was still in the center of his new posse of girls. He jolted upright immediately as his ghost sense went off, seeing Valerie lying there on the floor.

"Holy crap! Valerie, are you okay?!" Danny waded through the crowd of girls and rushed to her side.

"Huh?" she repeated, looking up into Danny's eyes before smiling wavily. "Better now… the view's much nicer." Danny looked on for a few seconds before smirking confidently. "So… that Dumpty Humpty concert you asked me about yesterday… you still offering?"

"Best. Day. EVER." Danny whispered to himself, barely able to contain his glee, before he composed himself, deciding to play it cool. "Uh… sure. I was just gonna hock 'em to the A-list, but I GUESS I could take you to the concert tonight."

"It's a date, then." She grinned in satisfaction. As she walked away, he grinned even wider than he had previously.

"YES!" He was snapped out of his reverie, however, by the angry voice of Paulina.

"HEY! How come you didn't ask ME?"

"Or ME?!" Star shouted.

"Can it Star, Danny likes me! Or at least… I THOUGHT he did!"

"Hey, there's…" Danny trailed off, swallowing hard. "…Enough of Danny Fenton to go around?"

"GET HIM!" Star shrieked. Danny yelled his bloody lungs out as he took off out of the door as fast as his two human legs would carry him. He bolted around the corner, only to run into Dash, Kwan, and the other A-list football team.

"FENTONOWSKI! I'M GONNA GIVE YOU THE BIGGEST SWIRLY OF YOUR LIFE!" Dash roared in absolute rage.

Danny turned back around immediately and ran back toward Health class, only to run back into the mob of girls.

"GOUGE HIS EYES OUT!" Paulina ordered angrily. Danny cringed in fear as he glanced back and forth between the two crowds closing in on him, before uttering one last sentence…

"Worst... day... ever..."


	5. Chapter 5

Cupid's Arrow of Doom, Chapter 5

A Danny Phantom fanfiction by Dustin M. Dixon

* * *

"OH GOD OH JEEZ OH CRAP OH NO!" Danny shouted, swerving out of the way of Dash's iron grip and quickly clambering into the nearest locker.

"Dude! Fenton just shoved himself into a locker!" Kwan exclaimed gleefully.

"Eh… it's just not the same." Dash sighed, slumping off. However, the rest of the boys and the entirety of the girl mob were still crowded around the locker for several minutes.

"So…" a random girl spoke up. "Is he getting out any time soon, or…?"

"Fenton?" Kwan asked, knocking on the locker and completely ignoring the flash of light that shined through the holes in the locker door. As the mob of angry teenagers stood there, Danny phased through the locker and harmlessly past his pursuers.

"Okay… so today's NOT going as good as it was five minutes ago. What's going ON in this school anyway? I get the football team hate, but why everything else?" he asked out loud, flying off to find the answer, despite the fact that he was now late for his second-period class…

* * *

As the second period bell rang, Tucker started to walk into class, only to be interrupted by Jazz calling out to him.

"Tucker! Hi!" she greeted enthusiastically.

"Oh, hey Jazz!" Tucker waved excitedly. "'Sup?" he started to sweat again as the current object of his arrow-induced affections leaned in toward him. "Stupid antiperspirant deodorant! What you do for Tucker?!"

"Hang on…" Jazz spoke up again. "There's something on your face, It's on your lips."

"On my lips? There's nothing on my lips." Tucker grinned nervously.

"There is NOW." She replied with a smirk, before closing the distance between them with a kiss.

'She's… kissing me?! Jazz LIKES me?!' he thought, letting one more thought come to his mind as he wrapped his arms around her and returned her affections. 'Darn… why didn't I think of that line?! That was gold!'

"S-so…" Tucker stammered as they broke the kiss simultaneously. "Wanna… be my Valentine?"

"Is the Box Ghost a lame villain?" she smirked. Tucker's response flooded the hallway of Casper High…

"YES! I've got a Valentine!"

* * *

"Whatever caused this to happen has got to be somewhere around here…" Danny trailed off, as his ghost sense finally activated and he swerved out of the way of Plasmius' ectoplasmic energy blast just in the nick of time. He turned angrily and fired a blast of his own at the older half-ghost, who deflected it with his right hand. "Plasmius! Of course… it's Valentine's Day… I should have figured the lonely rich pathetic old man was behind it." He cracked a grin as he continued. "Did you get that Valentine my mom sent?" he then flew toward Plasmius and punched him back about twenty feet. "Oh, that's right! She never sent you a Valentine! That's cause she's happy with my dad!"

"Very clever, Daniel." Plasmius frowned, but that frown changed into a grin as he spoke up again. "But I'm not here to exchange that witty banter you kids these days so enjoy! I'm sure you've realized something's going on with the girls in this school!"

"You mean that they're all flocking to me?" Danny asked.

"Exactly. And they're extremely clingy. I'm surprised you were able to morph at all with them swarming around you like they have been."

"Why do this though? I can't see how this could POSSIBLY benefit your little game of 'chess' with me!" Danny griped.

"Oh, who said it had anything to do with that? I just wanted to watch you suffer." Plasmius grinned evilly. "After all…" he trailed off, his grin vanishing and being replaced with an ugly snarl. "You deserve it! Consider this payback for you and that failed clone destroying my perfect half-ghost son!"

"If this is your idea of payback, then you suck at it." Danny crossed his arms, smirking confidently. "What's next, gonna send the Box Ghost to assassinate my dad with his 'corrugated cardboard vengeance'?"

"Ah, young, idiotic Daniel… you truly have taken after your father in the foresight department." He took an opportunity to blast Danny back. "Did you really think it was that simple? There's a part 2 to my little 'gift', as it were. Those girls are under the spell of Cupid, the God of Love. However, thanks to millions of little 'incentives'…" he paused, using air quotes for the word incentives. "Cupid added an extra bit of magic to those arrows that hit your classmates. When the clock strikes midnight, they will hate you… forever! You won't have a chance with any of them… including the young Miss Gray. I believe you have feelings for her, do you not?"

"Valerie…!" Danny's eyes widened, remembering what had happened about fifteen minutes ago.

"I believe I've filled in enough of the gaps. Your life through the last two years of high school will be bitter and lonely, just like you keep insisting my life is now!"

"Your life IS bitter and lonely." Danny reaffirmed with a scowl as he blasted at Plasmius once more. "And I'm not gonna be like you!"

"I'm afraid you will, Daniel. The only one who can break the spell is Cupid, and he works for me!"

"Wait, hang on… CUPID." Danny sounded out Cupid's name, just now realizing the bigger picture of what Vlad was saying.

"Yes. Cupid. God of Love… well, he's actually a fairy."

"Wait…" Danny held up his right hand to stop Plasmius. "Fairies EXIST."

"Oh please, Daniel. You live in a town where GHOSTS invade constantly and the existence of fairies surprises you?!" Plasmius grinned, noticing the bewildered expression on Danny's face. "I see you're still processing. I guess I'll have to show you." He then floated through the ceiling. Against his better judgment, Danny followed him, only to be completely taken aback as Cupid came into view. "Daniel, meet Cupid. Cupid, Daniel."

"Hiya!" Cupid greeted enthusiastically.

"For being an enemy of mine, you're pretty cheerful." Danny shrugged.

"It's a job. I'm just doing this for the big bucks." Cupid grinned, his eyes narrowing in satisfaction.

"Money, huh?"

"Yeah! As the God of Love, I LOVE money!"

"So… would you take 5 bucks to lift the spell from all those girls down in that school ready to tear me apart cause I'm going on a date with Valerie?" Danny grinned really big, with a childish 'pretty please' look in his eyes.

"Hmm… 5 bucks, or 5 MILLION bucks? Which do YOU think he's going to choose, Daniel?" Plasmius grinned wickedly.

"You heard the boss man. He's got big bags of money with my name on them!"

"So in short, I hope you enjoyed making fun of my bitter lonely life, because yours is about to get ten times more lonely!" Plasmius grinned once more before spinning his cape around himself and vanishing in a pink swirl of ghost energy. Cupid followed suit immediately, leaving Danny alone to ponder what horrifying turn these events would take…


	6. Chapter 6

Cupid's Arrow of Doom, Chapter 6

A Danny Phantom fanfiction by Dustin M. Dixon

* * *

As the bell rang, thereby marking the end of second period, Sam walked to her locker, letting out a startled cry as Danny came tumbling out, once again in his human form.

"O...kay...hey, I'm cool with you getting some much-needed alone time in my locker - but...you haven't been getting any much-needed 'alone time' in my locker, have you?"

"What? Sam, no - wait...y'know what, nevermind. Anyway, I've been trying to get away from Paulina and -"

"Wait, what did you say?"

"I SAID, I've been trying to get away from Paulina -"

"Say that again?"

"...okay, no. Look, the short version is, my teenage guy's dream of having every girl in school completely drooling over me failed miserably. What's worse, Vlad is in on it and worse than that, he's got the 'God of Love' in a...poofy little diaper wrapped around his rich guy finger!"

"Okay, you're definitely going to need to say that again, because seriously what the heck...?"

"Um, okay, uhh...short version: Vlad's behind this and he has a minion. A very...fairy minion. Who's only in it for the money! ...which he...has a lot of."

"O-kay, got it. Soo...what do you want me to do about it?"

"HELP me!"

"Okay, okay, hang on...lemme see if I've got anything in my collection about reversing fairy magic..."

"Sam, c'mon, I -...oh, wait, you're serious."

"Duh. They write books on everything, nowadays. Besides, you think I wasn't?"

"I thought you were mocking me out...which...I...rightly deserved. Again. For like the hundreth time."

"Hey, cool it...how're you going to learn your lesson if you don't get it hammered all the way in that thick skull your dad gave you?"

"Nice, Sam, nice..."

"Thanks."

"But *sigh* you're right."

"Thanks! Now, c'mon, the library closes at five!" Danny grabbed Sam by the hand and transformed once more, flying the two of them through the roof.

* * *

"That brainiac's been acting weird ever since she got back from the bathroom." Brad's friend pointed out, as they glanced ever at the now-lovestruck Jazz, who was busy doodling a cartoony heart in her notebook with the words "TF & JF" inside of the heart.

"We have the same last initial…" she sighed, smiling wavily. She was too distracted to hear Lancer's lecture on Shakespeare, though to be fair, it had been a lecture she had heard MANY times prior. She was snapped out of her reverie, however, as Lancer raised his voice.

"Miss Fenton!" he snapped. "Usually you're front and center when I ask these questions."

"Er… what questions?" Jazz was genuinely confused.

"The question was… what was Romeo's family name?" Jazz sat there for second, as if legitimately processing the question, but the only thing that occupied her mind right now was…

"Foley!" she blurted out, causing laughter from her classmates as she buried her head behind her notebook, blushing considerably.

"No, Miss Fenton. Foley doesn't even remotely SOUND like Montague." Lancer sighed, thinking 'What's with you today? Usually you make the rest of these degenerate slackers seem like, well… just that!"

"Erm…" she mumbled something incoherent in response.

"Hey, we are NOT degenerate slackers!" Brad protested. Jazz glanced over at him with a blink. He folded his arms. "We're very generous with our slacker...ing...thank you very much!" Lancer blinked, sighing and shaking his head. Jazz normally would have, but was still too busy daydreaming about her techno geek Romeo. Their teacher raised his book again "Very well then, onto Act Two..."

* * *

As Danny and Sam entered the fiction section of the library, the latter quickly took to browsing the aisles.

"Man…" Danny moaned. "Valerie FINALLY said yes, and I can't even enjoy it because she's being controlled by Vlad!"

"Really? Cause I thought that Cupid's love arrows had some small part in that." Sam replied sarcastically.

"Vlad, Cupid… semantics." Danny shook his head angrily. Ignoring him briefly, Sam plucked a book from the aisles, reading it aloud.

"Idiot's Guide to Fairies by Denzel Crocker… you think this one might help?" Sam suggested.

"Couldn't hurt…" Danny sighed.

"Look, you know Valerie's too wrapped up in ghost hunting to have anything to do with you romantically. You're just hurting yourself by thinking anything else can come out of that."

Danny let out a monosyllabic chuckle in response.

"Who needs a Valentine anyway?" Sam scoffed. "Just sell the Dumpty Humpty tickets to the A-list. Heck, you could even take m—" she cut herself off, realizing what she had started to say. "…Moving on! Yeah, how 'bout them fairies?" she opened the book, hiding her face from Danny as she glanced through the pages, eventually landing on Cupid. "Ah! Here we go! Height, weight… man, this guy has WAY too much time on his hands…" Her eyes darted back and forth between every line on the page, until she finally saw what she was looking for. "Aha! If you're hit by a special arrow that makes every girl within a mile radius fall madly in love with you… oddly specific, but never look a gift horse in the mouth I guess… oh CRAP!" she shut the book, wide-eyed.

"What's it say?" Danny asked.

"Cupid himself has to break the spell!" Sam shook her head, watching as Danny walked up to the nearest wall and banged his head against it several times. "Whoa!" she called out, walking over to him and putting her hand on his shoulder. "Giving yourself brain damage won't make things any better! We're just going to have to find Cupid and get him to break the spell!"

"How?!" Danny nearly shouted. "He's a million dollars richer thanks to my arch-enemy! If he didn't take my five bucks before, he's certainly not going to take them now!"

"Then we'll find another way…" Sam reassured him. "I'm not going to let my best friend be completely miserable for the rest of his days in Casper High!"

"…Thanks." Danny smiled, then spoke up again, eyebrows raised. "Wait… if that arrow affects everyone in a mile radius, how come it didn't affect you?" An awkward pause followed between the two teens, before Sam spoke up at light speed.

"OhlookatthetimewegottagofindCupid!" Danny took a second to process that as she ran off, leaving a dust cloud in her wake.

"Sam, wait up!" Danny shouted after her, hearing a loud "SHHH!" from several patrons of the library. As he caught up to her, he spoke up again. "I'm all for finding Cupid, but maybe we should bring Tucker along…" Another awkward pause prompted him to speak up once more. "What?"

"Oh right, you weren't there. It's the strangest thing…" Sam chuckled nervously. "He's kinda following Jazz like a lovesick puppy." Danny suddenly stopped in his track as they got outside the library, causing the heads of everyone nearby to turn in shock as he spoke up once more.

"**HE'S **_**WHAT?!**_"

* * *

Special thanks: Hitamukiissekiwa for co-authoring this chapter.


	7. Chapter 7

Cupid's Arrow of Doom, Chapter 7

A Danny Phantom fanfiction by Dustin M. Dixon

* * *

"Alright, take a deep breath, Danny." Sam paused for a few seconds, waiting for Danny to calm down. "…It's not THAT funny."

"AHAHAHAHAHA!" Danny continued to laugh uproariously. "TUCKER… AND MY **SISTER**?! IT TOTALLY **IS **THAT FUNNY! SHE'S GONNA DRIVE HIM NUTS!"

"So… you going to finish sometime today?" Sam frowned, eyelids drooping as she glared at Danny, who finally stopped laughing about five minutes later.

"There…" he let out a weak chuckle. "All done."

"Aren't you worried about Jazz? Or Tucker?"

"In which order?" Danny asked flatly. "I'd be worried if Jazz was dating someone like Dash. Tucker's harmless. She'll probably just grow bored with it and move on."

"Well then aren't you worried about Tucker? He's our friend!" Sam stressed the last word as she tried to drive the point home to Danny.

"C'mon, Tucker's a big kid. He can handle a little heartbreak." Danny shrugged it off with a big grin.

"Like you did with Valerie, right?" Sam asked, brows raised

"…Darn it…" Danny sighed. "We need to find Cupid and fast…"

"And then come up with a HECK of a good reason for skipping the rest of the day today?" Sam suggested.

"That too." Danny shrugged. "We'd better start with Vlad's. C'mon, let's go!"

"But how do you even know where he is? It's not like he owns a place in town… right?"

"He's a billionaire trying to get together with my mom. I'm sure he's got a mansion or two around here. Let's go check out Poulter Heights." And with that, he and Sam darted off to the ritziest part of town…

* * *

The bell rang for lunch later on in the day, and as Tucker entered the lunchroom, he spotted the object of his affections sitting at a table at the far end of the large cafeteria.

"Hey!" Tucker called out, dashing over and taking a seat next to Jazz as he turned to her. "Man, I haven't been able to get my mind off of you all day."

"Me neither." A pause. "I mean…" she trailed off, laughing awkwardly. "I can't get my mind off of you."

"R-really?" Tucker said, then thought angrily. 'Focus, TF! She already said she'd be your Valentine!' "I mean… cool!" Another awkward pause between the two lovestruck teens prompted Jazz to speak up.

"Well, we have all of lunch, what do you want to talk about?"

"Uh… um…" 'DARN IT!' Tucker berated himself for suddenly lacking the Tucker Foley charm he had bragged so much about previously to Danny and Sam. 'C'mon, you've known Jazz your whole life! Say something about her hair, her eyes… SAY SOMETHING!'

"Uh… Tucker?" Jazz looked concerned. "Is something wrong? You're sweating again."

"DARN YOU DEODORANT!" Tucker bellowed to the ceiling.

"Okay…" Another pause, as Jazz was inwardly berating herself. 'Say something about his cute beret, or his ultra-hot glasses, or… SAY SOMETHING, FENTON!' But all the 17 year old girl could find herself doing was leaning on the table, head in hands as she gazed toward Tucker. Suddenly, Tucker spoke up again.

"Hey! I know! Can I take a picture to prove to my online friends that I had a Valentine this year?" Jazz stared at him before wordlessly nodding with a smile. Seconds later, as she struck a pose for his "proof", Tucker snapped the photo with his PDA. "Awesome!"

"Want to go to the Nasty Burger after school?" Jazz suddenly asked. With an excited grin, Tucker nodded. Just then, he awkwardly leaned in, Jazz following suit, realizing suddenly that nothing else really NEEDED to be said as they joined lips for the second time that day…

* * *

"Oh man…" Danny sighed for what must have been the millionth time that day as he and Sam scoured the perimeter of ultra-posh Poulter Heights. "There's gotta be at least thirty mansions around here! Where does he freakin' live?!"

"Off-hand? How about the one that has the big statue of him on the front lawn?" Sam replied sarcastically. Danny glanced down incredulously at the statue before smacking himself hard in the forehead. "Danny, we talked about this… the brain damage?"

"Sorry…" Danny dropped down, phasing into the manor. No sooner had he, though, than he was blasted into the wall, going tangible again as Sam dropped with a loud thud and a cry of "OW!" Looking ahead, she saw Vlad standing there with a smirk.

"Ah, Daniel, Samantha! You're late." Vlad grinned coyly.

"Cut the small talk, Vlad!" Danny shouted. "Where's Cupid?"

"I'm just his employer, Daniel. I'm not his keeper! And even if I knew where he was, what makes you crazy enough to think I would tell YOU?"

"Because if you don't…" Danny growled, raising his fists as ectoplasmic energy began to surround them.

"Oh please, Danny! We both know that I'm way stronger than you! Do I really have to humiliate you in front of your former girlfriend?"

"She's not my girlfriend!" "I'm not his girlfriend!" Both teens shouted. A pause followed briefly, before Sam spoke up. "Vlad, we're reasonable adults here, right?"

"You're not an adult. Neither is Daniel." Vlad stated flatly.

"Well, ADOLESCENTS." Sam shook her head. A pause from Vlad made her continue with a grumble. "Look, we're reasonable, okay? Give me an angle here!"

"Fine fine, we're reasonable. What's your point?" Vlad snapped.

"My point is this. You've had your fun, Vlad. You've established your superiority once again or some such nonsense. Can you please get Cupid to drop the spell?" Sam gave her biggest puppy-dog eyes. "C'mon, I'm sure a gentleman like you can appreciate Danny's situation, right?" In the background, Danny suddenly grinned hopefully.

"Of course I can, young lady!" Vlad laughed, turning around before continuing. "But you forget something, Samantha… as far as Daniel and I are concerned…" he turned back throwing his arms up. "I! AM! NO! GENTLEMAN!" One last turn from Vlad prompted the older man to speak up once more. "And now I think you had better leave, for your own safety, among other things!"

* * *

As the door slammed shut behind Danny and Sam, the latter turned to her friend and quipped. "Gee, I wonder why your mom doesn't want anything to do with him?"

"Back to square one, then… where would a guy—"

"Fairy."

"Right, fairy. Where would a fairy like Cupid go? He seemed pretty well-kept… goofy diaper notwithstanding." Danny cupped his chin in his right hand as he thought for a minute. "Hey, isn't there a spa in the area?"

"Why a spa?" Sam's eyebrows arched.

"Well, they do all that exfoliating crap. It's Valentine's Day and he's, y'know, CUPID. I imagine he'd want to look his best on his special day." Danny shrugged.

"It's as good a place as any, I suppose…" Sam nodded slowly. "Let's go!" The two friends darted off, determined to find Cupid.


	8. Chapter 8

Cupid's Arrow of Doom, Chapter 8

A Danny Phantom fanfiction by Dustin M. Dixon

* * *

"Well crap, that wasn't the right place either…" Sam groaned as they exited the third spa they had checked over the past three hours. "You'd better be right about this, Danny! If I get another facial for no good reason, I'm gonna hurl!"

"Relax…" Danny grinned. "He'll be in the next one. I can feel it!"

"Just like you felt it the first time? The second? THIS ONE?!" Sam pointed angrily to the spa.

"We'll just go to this next one, and—" he was cut off by a loud shout from Dash, who was running angrily toward him.

"FENTON! I'M GONNA POUND YOU AND WASH THE BRUISES WITH WATER FROM THE TANK!"

"Oh crap!" Danny cringed as Dash approached angrily.

"Wait… why are you over here at the spa?" Sam asked as her eyebrows raised.

"Well, they do that exfoliating crap, and…" he trailed off as Sam began to smirk. "Look, I've got problems! Big problems that…" he trailed off once more, raising a fist and preparing to punch Danny. Sam shut her eyes and made the ultimate sacrifice…

"Dash, 2-for-1 exfoliating discount! I'll help you out with those 'problems'. I have a few blackheads that need clearing up myself." She lied, grabbing Dash by the arm, whispering "Run. Find Cupid." as she led Dash into the spa. Danny, not needing to be told twice, ran into the nearest alley and transformed, flying off toward the last spa in town…

* * *

*10 second intro*

Sam grinned and bore it as she entered the spa for a second time.

"Welcome, how… wait, weren't you just here?" the woman at the front desk asked.

"Yeah, but… I brought a friend for your discount!" Sam grinned widely.

"Very well, right this way!" the woman said cheerily.

*first the mind*

Sam sat down in the hydraulic styling chair across from Dash.

*then the soul*

She grimaced as one of the spa workers slid cucumber slices on her eyes.

*And when the heart is pumped up for the goal*

As if she could sense it, Sam backed away in terror from the powder puff heading toward her.

*There's no defeat*

The powder puff hit up hard against Sam's face.

*You'd sooner die!*

As it withdrew, Sam looked groggy, as if she had just taken a hard punch to the face.

*It's man to man as we stand eye to eye!*

Sam turned, recoiling in horror as her cucumbers dropped and she saw the nail polish remover being brought out. She screamed in agony as the worker applied it to her mega-onyx nail polish.

*Winner takes it all! Loser takes a fall!*

As the worker brought out the lipstick and proper makeup to make her look, as they put it the last time she had been in just moments ago, "Irresistible", Sam turned green in the face.

*Fight to the beginning of the end!*

Meanwhile, Danny flew over the skies of Amity Park, humming the song playing in the background.

"Yeah! Winner takes it all, until he breaks the fall! In time you'll make it over the top-!" Danny sang to himself as he reached the final spa…

* * *

As Tucker and Jazz entered the Nasty Burger, the latter was surprised to see one of the workers escort them to a closed-off booth. She was even more surprised to see the table set with a fine cloth and a lit candle, making the mood romantic.

"How did—" she started.

"I called in a favor! I'm their best customer!" Tucker beamed, putting an arm around Jazz and escorted her to her seat.

"So —!" the boy in the red beret began, chin in hands as he leaned across the table with another calm, dreamy sort of smile.

"So —!" the redhead echoed, sitting similarly, smiling politely.

They shared a few blinks as their faces fell, growing slightly blank in the mounting tension.

"Uh…"  
"Uhh…"

Tearing their gazes away, they glanced awkwardly around in opposite directions before Tucker whirled forward, blurting "I really like your hair!"

"— your beret!" Jazz overlapped.

More blinks, then their smiles slowly returned.

"You do?" the boy asked.

"Thanks!" the girl said, tugging a chunk of it over her shoulder and idly combing it.

Another few moments of silence. Tucker glanced aside. 'Well, you did it, Foley, you broke the ice…'

'…guess there's nothing left to do but…talk casual…' the redhead thought, eyes darting before meeting his again.

"So…" Jazz echoed, "Uh — what…kind of burger do you usually get here?" she asked, watching the candle's flame flicker.

"Well, uh, if I'm feeling really hungry, I'll go for the Mighty Meaty Cheesy Melt," the boy admitted.

"Oh, cool, I've had that before," the girl said with a genuine smile. "It's…pretty good."

Tucker's jaw dropped a little. "I didn't think girls ordered stuff like that! With the giant fries and everything?"

"Well…yeah, I mean…if you're hungry," Jazz said with a shrug.

"Cool," the boy said, verging on a grin. Pointing, he added "Don't tell me you play videogames, too…?"

"Well, not…yet, anyway. Besides Dad's training gear," the redhead said, looking sheepish, "But I…think they're really good for building hand-eye coordination and…well, they have been used in a lot of professional psychological tests for certain groundbreaking experiments. Not all the latest ones, but…y'know, certain…'old school' arcade-style titles. So…I…could see myself getting into them. But…y'know, I might…need a little help…at first. And I'd definitely be interested in seeing the whole spectrum and getting into the gamer psychology and all…"

She uttered a monosyllabic chuckle in spite of herself while Tucker sat with chin in hands, lids drooped, grin broad, as if he was seconds away from materializing a wedding ring with his mind and slipping it on her finger without a thought.

In the silence that followed, the boy twitched, realizing she was looking at him somewhat expectantly. "Well, yeah," he spoke up, "Psychology's cool — I mean, that's how people think and all…I mean, that's everything behind technology. And all. Why people make it, why they play games…why they play the games they play, stuff like that…right?"

"Uh-huh."

"And, uh, if you don't mind getting into gaming I'm totally for upping my game with…uh, all the mind science and stuff." 'Please don't sound lame, please don't sound lame…'

To his relief and delight, she chuckled "Wow, y'know…" glancing away again and curling her hair around her finger for a moment, "I —…I just never realized…" She trailed off; then faced forward. "So…why didn't we ever do this before? I mean, well, why didn't you ever ask me out like this before? It's…pretty clear we're compatible on…more than one level." And winked. 'Please don't be too of lame a pun, please don't be too lame of a pun…'

"Ahahh," Tucker chuckled, with a point and a return wink. Then frowned. "Wait, what — well…if you mean I…" 'I have no idea!' He paused for a moment, shifting his gaze to the table, looking up with a sheepish smile of his own. "I mean…I just thought…I wanted it to be the right time, y'know?"

"Right time?" she raised a brow, though not too high.

"Well, yeah, I mean…tonight just feels so perfect and all…I guess it just kinda came down to it…came down to 'fight or flight' and I…I chose to fight — for…my right…to romance." Adding a seductive inflection to the last two words, he scooped up her hand, leaned down and kissed it.

There was another very tangible silence for the next few moments. Jazz blinked, her face slightly blank. He'd either blown himself up spectacularly, or essentially scored. He was ready for her to back away slowly, turn around and bolt. He was ready for it, pulse pounding.

And then she just chuckled. And a bit dorkily, too. With a shoulder shrugging sigh and a calm grin, she said "It all just kind of came together. That makes sense," with a nod. "And…I'm really glad it did."

Now it was the boy's turn to look at her blankly. But bubbling behind that stare was something beyond the indescribable joy of a thousand games finally beaten after impossibly hard end bosses. There was no digital, technical equivalent.

He smiled. "I'm glad, too."

* * *

Danny cringed as he entered the final spa, as the man at the desk greeted him enthusiastically in the most over-the-top voice imaginable.

"Hiiii-!" he shouted. "Welcome to Pretty In Pink Spa and Massage Parlor! I'm Garrett! And you are?"

"Erm… Danny. Fenton. Danny Fenton." Danny was a bit taken aback by the man standing there, whispering to himself. "Someone needs to lower his happy pill dosage…"

"Hmm?" Garrett asked, causing Danny to simply shake his head and reply with "Nothing, nothing! Anyway, uh… Garrett… I was wondering if I could get pampered beyond my wildest dreams?"

"You got a hundred bucks?" Garrett's tone quickly flat-lined.

"No… but what would five bucks get me?"

"A peek into luxury!" The enthusiastic tone was back, as Garrett pointed inside the little "gate" set up to keep out the poor miscreants who didn't have the entry fee. Just inside, Danny spotted his target getting pampered, only Cupid now looked… more human. His wings had vanished, and he had ditched the diaper for a matching pink pair of trousers. He now stood about 5 feet 11 inches tall.

"There you are…" he whispered, starting to enter the gate before Garrett grabbed him by the back of the shirt.

"Ah ah ah, I said a peek. That'll be five bucks." Garrett frowned, the deadpan tone returning as Danny grumbled and handed over his only remaining five bucks. "Okay, now make way for the people who actually DO have money, kid."

Danny exited the spa with a sour look, as he thought for a second. Or rather… he would have, if not for the bevy of girls there waiting for him.

"THERE HE IS!" Paulina shouted.

"RIP HIM APART!" Star joined in the shout. "…And then take his remains home to love for all eternity!" she sighed dreamily.

"How did you all find me?!" he shouted. Paulina just pointed over to a familiar figure leaning against the corner. There, Vlad waved with a wicked grin.

"The clock's ticking, Daniel… but you have more pressing matters to attend to, now don't you?" he laughed as Danny ran off.

"DARN YOU VLAD-!"

* * *

Special thanks: Hitamukiissekiwa for co-authoring this chapter.


	9. Chapter 9

Cupid's Arrow of Doom, Chapter 9

A Danny Phantom fanfiction by Dustin M. Dixon

* * *

A couple of acknowledgements before I start this chapter officially:

To those reading the reviews for this on FFN: you might notice Living_Encyclopedia's review pointing out Danny shouting "Plasmius" at the top of his lungs at the end of Chapter 8. "But wait!" you might say. "He says 'Darn you Vlad'!" Well, Chapter 8 originally HAD him shouting Plasmius instead of Vlad. So I want to officially thank Living_Encyclopedia for pointing this out so I could make the proper edit.

To guest reviewer Matt: Timmy will show up during the season, just not for Cupid's Arrow of Doom. This fic is only a VERY slight FOP crossover. There will be more significant FOP crossovers down the road.

To Hitamukiissekiwa: Thank you for helping this fic's later chapters see the light of day. Your help has been MOST appreciated.

To everyone else: Thank you for your continued reading of my fanfic! The next chapter will wrap up this story, hopefully very nicely. I hope you've enjoyed reading this so far and before long, I will be starting "Flame War", which I hope you all will ALSO enjoy! Now let's get on with the penultimate chapter of Cupid's Arrow of Doom!

* * *

Danny frightfully rounded the corner into an alleyway to duck and cover, only for his great idea to be blown by the long line of teenagers from the football team standing on the other side of his only way out.

"FENTON! 'Sup?" Kwan laughed, oblivious as usual, before a fellow member of the football team poked him, causing him to turn his head. The other teenager simply responded by shaking his head in disappointment. "Oh right! It's payback time for taking all the girls, Fenton!" he growled, raising a large fist.

"Oh great…" Danny closed his eyes. 'I can't go ghost here either, they'll know my secret identity!' He prepared for the beating of his soon-to-be-drastically-shortened life.

* * *

Meanwhile, Sam staggered across the street to Pretty in Pink Spa and Massage Parlor. As she approached, she groaned.

"NO… MORE… SPA TREATMENTS…" she looked on the verge of fainting, at least until she saw a tall person who matched Danny's general description of Cupid walk out of the spa. She ducked behind a trash can, then after a second, started to chalk it up to coincidence before the man began to change shape before her eyes, becoming much smaller and sprouting wings, trading in his pink trousers for a cloth diaper. He looked like he was about to fly off or vanish, so Sam made herself known to the fairy before he could traverse off to God-knows-where.

"Cupid!" she shouted.

"Huh?" Cupid turned and saw Sam running up to him. "You're that goth kid that hangs out with Fenton… the one with the crush on him."

"Crush?" Sam blushed. "What crush?"

"I'm the God of Love kid, you can't fool me. What the heck do you want? I suppose you're here to get me to break the spell over the ghost boy as well!"

"Yes I am."

"Well tough cookies!" Cupid smirked. "Vlad's paying me a VERY hefty sum to make sure your little friend ends up miserable on Valentine's Day!"

"That's just IT, though!" Sam cried out. "You're freaking CUPID! You're not supposed to pull crap like this!"

"For the right price, I'll do anything I darn well please!" Cupid turned around with a huff as he overheard Danny's scream of horror. "Ooh! Whatever's happening to your little friend sounds way more interesting than whatever you have to say!" he poofed off toward the sound of Danny's scream, Sam taking off after him full-force.

* * *

*STAHAHAHAP!" Danny laughed, as Star tickled his feet with a wicked grin. "AHENYTHING BUT THAHAT!"

"Now you're gonna go out with me instead of Val, right?" Star laughed.

"No way Star, he's going with me!" Paulina argued, brandishing her perfectly manicured nails and beckoning to Star, who responded by brandishing her own nails. The two clawed at each other as the other girls firmly held Danny in place, the guys from the football team all laughing in response.

"Great… I'm never gonna live this down." He sighed, awaiting the torture to resume.

"Hey, wait up! Look, you need to stop this!" Sam insisted as she caught up with Cupid, who huffed and disappeared once more. "He doesn't deserve to lose happi—" Another vanishing act by Cupid prompted her to turn toward him again. "You can't possibly get enjoyment out of—" Another vanishing act prompte her to raise her voice tremendously. "WOULD YOU STOP DOING THAT AND **TALK TO ME?!**" she screamed.

"Fine fine, you have five minutes." He eyed Kwan punching his left hand with his right. "And judging by that kid's enthusiasm, so does your friend."

"Look, this is crazy! You're the God of Love! Your freaking JOB DESCRIPTION is to go around and spread love! Won't that peeve your higher-ups?!" Sam made one argument. After pausing for a second, Cupid cupped his chin in his hand. "Hmm… NOPE. The higher-ups don't care WHAT I do as long as it's related to my job!" Looking down at his watch as Danny continued to laugh, Cupid grinned and spoke up again. "Three minutes."

"The fairy ladies actually love a guy who plays by the rules?" Sam suggested with a grin, causing Cupid to click his tongue as he shook his head back and forth.

"Wrong! You wanna know what fairy girls actually love?" Cupid smirked. "Whatever **I **tell them to love! I hold dominion over ALL worlds on Valentine's Day! I can make people fall for whoever I want them to! And then I can make them hate whoever I want them to!" Once more, Cupid looked down at his watch. "You still haven't convinced me, and your friend's about out of time."

"Danny…" she looked down at him as Kwan advanced slowly on him, seemingly forgetting what he was doing at first until his friend reminded him again. She saw Danny visibly sweating, scared for his safety because he couldn't go ghost and fly out of there. She closed her eyes tightly, teeth gritted, before she finally let out a sigh.

"I like him." She whispered.

"Huh?" Cupid put a hand to his ears. "I can't hear you."

"YOU KNOW WHAT I FREAKING SAID." Sam grumbled loudly. "You were right. I do… have a crush on Danny."

"Well then this shouldn't bother you a b—"

"I'm NOT done. Just because I like him though doesn't mean I want him to end up with me. I want him to be with whoever makes HIM happy."

"R…" Cupid's eyes widened. "Really?"

"Yes. Right now he has a crush on Valerie Gray, one of the girls affected by your powers. If midnight falls and she hates him, he'll be devastated. And… and that'll devastate me knowing that HE'S devastated." Sam looked as though she was on the verge of tears.

"What if he never chooses you? Won't you be hurt?" Cupid pondered aloud.

"Of course it will! I'll be upset at first that he didn't choose me, but as long as he's happy I can grin and bear it! That's what love is! It can bend! But never break! You know this, you preside over ALL matters of the heart!" she finished as she started to shed tears. Cupid noticed this immediately.

"…" Cupid looked down with a frown. "You really like this kid, don't you? I mean… this isn't just some silly schoolgirl crush. You LIKE-LIKE him."

"We've been through a lot, Cupid. We've grown up together. I just want him to be happy." She repeated. Another short pause from Cupid prompted her to speak up again. "I know it's a lot of money… but can your conscience really allow this to keep going?!"

"…No." Cupid spoke up in a whisper. "It can't." Just then, Plasmius descended from the sky, landing between Sam and Cupid.

"Well, Cupid? How's our little plan going, hmm?" he laughed.

"It's NOT!" Cupid suddenly shouted, the bag of Plasmius' money appearing in his right hand as he threw it at the half-ghost, half-human. "KEEP your stupid money! I'm the God of LOVE, DARN IT! I hereby break every gosh darn spell you've had me cast today!" He then made his bow appear as he nocked an arrow, taking aim into the sky and…

* * *

Meanwhile, down below…

"OH CRAP!" Danny shouted, squirming in the girls' grip, when suddenly, he could hear the moan of every collective girl there. More importantly, he felt Star and Paulina's grips on him loosening, and he ducked just in time to avoid being punched by Kwan, making a mad dash away from Kwan and the A-list football team. "I should probably help the girls out, but I'll worry about that AFTER I kick Vlad's lonely single old-guy BUTT!" he shouted, diving into a dumpster on the next street corner and transforming. As he did, he felt a wisp of smoke drift lazily from his open mouth. "And it looks like I don't have to go far!" he then rose into the sky just as the football team rounded the corner.

"Whoa! Danny Phantom!" Kwan exclaimed. "Did you see where Fenton went? We kinda have to take out our combined frustration… on him?" he looked to his friend, who smirked and nodded, flashing a thumbs up.

"Uh… he ran that way?" Danny shrugged, pointing to his right, but as the football team took off that direction, he quickly added. "But that doesn't make him any less cool! You should totally not pick on him and stuff!" Sighing, he reached the top of the adjacent building and landed, seeing Plasmius grasping Sam by the shirt.

"You little rat!" he nearly shouted. "Do you know what this has done to my plans?!" At that moment, Danny blasted him away with a powerful ectoplasmic beam.

"Hey, LONELY OLD MAN. Keep your grubby claws OFF of her!" Danny's eyes narrowed angrily. Without missing a beat, Plasmius' frown changed into an evil grin.

"I WOULD say you ruined them, but really, all you did was take the bloodlessness out of the picture! I was content just to humiliate him and make him miserable, but since YOU…" he pointed at Sam, then sweeping his finger to Cupid. "And YOU insist on making this as drawn out and tedious as possible, I guess it's just going to get rather bloody then!" A pause. "AND I! AM! NOT! A! LONELY! OLD! MA—" he was cut off from his shout by another ectoplasmic beam from Danny.

"Yeah, keep telling yourself that, Plasmius. Maybe the Wizard will send you back to Kansas!" Danny walked threateningly slowly toward Plasmius, who just responded with a laugh.

"Oh Daniel, must I CONTINUE to humiliate you by proving my absolute superiority?" Plasmius grinned wickedly. "Very well… but remember, you asked for it, young man." He then blasted Danny with his own ectoplasmic energy bolt, but instead of sending the young half-ghost, half-human flying, it coiled around him like a rope, and Plasmius pulled his arm up quickly, causing Danny to rise into the air. Without a moment's hesitation, he slammed Danny back down with enough force to break apart the stone roof. Danny moaned in pain as Plasmius continued. "Shall we go for t…GAAHH-!" he shouted, suddenly reverting to his normal form. He glanced down and noticed that he was now wearing the Specter Deflector, courtesy of a now-smirking Sam.

"Never leave home without it!" her eyes narrowed in smug satisfaction as she gave Vlad a hard shove, causing him to topple over. Just then, the rope of ectoplasmic energy around Danny dissolved.

"Wow, that was AWESOME!" Danny said, running over to Sam as he reverted, giving her a great big hug. As she hugged back, she smiled contentedly. "Thanks Sam… you really pulled my butt out of the fire…" he turned toward Cupid as he broke the embrace, acknowledging him. "More than once today, actually. Speaking of… how DID she convince you to break that spell?" Cupid glanced over at Sam, who silently held up her hands and shook her head comically fast. Cupid simply responded to this silent gesture with a smile.

"She made me realize that some things are more important than money, kid. You're all right." Cupid held out his hand. "No hard feelings?"

"No hard feelings." Danny smirked, shaking Cupid's hand.

"This… guh… this isn't over…!" Vlad groaned, struggling to his feet. "I will BRING YOU TO YOUR KNEES YET!" he shouted, in a mix of anger and pain. He limped toward the nearby door and opened it, crawling down the stairs. Danny started after him, but Sam just put a hand on his shoulder, smiling as she did.

"Eh, let him go. I think he's done for a while, anyway." Danny just smiled back at her. Just then, he saw Cupid start to fly off. "Hey, Cupid! Where are you going?"

"Oh, well…" Cupid sighed dreamily. "I'm just gonna let things play out this Valentine's Day on their own! See you crazy kids around!" and with that, Cupid vanished, leaving the two teens there, content with the way things had turned out…


	10. Final Chapter

Cupid's Arrow of Doom, the Finale

A Danny Phantom fanfiction by Dustin M. Dixon

* * *

Meanwhile, across town, Jazz and Tucker exited the Nasty Burger, both with big grins on their faces.

"Thanks for today, Tucker." She threw her arms around him and planted a kiss on his lips, which he gratefully returned. However, a feeling suddenly washed over the two of them, and their eyes shot open. As they realized what was currently transpired between them, they both screamed bloody murder as they separated.

"What the heck?" it was like waking from a dream for the 15 year old boy. "We… we were…"

"Yeah…" Tucker could see the same expression on Jazz's face. "We were doing that just now."

"But you… but I…" Tucker looked hopeful. "…We just went on a date. But…"

"Yeah…" she repeated. "I… I gotta go…"

"It wasn't…" Tucker was afraid to continue, but forced himself to regardless. "…It wasn't real… was it?"

"…I don't know." Jazz glanced away sadly. "I really don't… I need to think. I'll… talk to you later…"

"…Yeah…" Tucker looked down as Jazz walked away. He pulled out his PDA and glanced at the photo he had taken, a small smile appearing on his face as he continued to stare.

* * *

"Well, that's that then." Danny said as he and Sam exited the building.

"Yup…" she sighed. "You should probably go see if you can salvage your date with Valerie."

"Yeah…" Danny sighed.

"Hey… if she doesn't accept… I could go with you. You know, as a fellow dateless loser." Sam smiled.

"Thanks." Danny returned the smile as he walked off.

* * *

An hour later, Danny ran into Valerie as he entered the Nasty Burger.

"Hey Val!" he called out.

"Hey Danny." Valerie greeted sadly. "About tonight…" A pause followed, as she gazed at Danny. "…What time is that concert?"

"Actually…" Danny took a pause himself. "Sorry Val, but I'm gonna be taking a good friend of mine."

"Sam?" Valerie asked.

"Sam." Danny nodded with a smile.

"…Good for you." Valerie returned the smile as she walked off.

"Yeah… good for me." Danny laughed.

* * *

Later that night, Sam and Danny sat three rows from Dumpty Humpty on stage and they rocked out to the loud music.

"I CAN'T BELIEVE VALERIE SAID NO TO THIS!" Sam shouted.

"SHE DIDN'T! I TOLD HER I WAS TAKING YOU!" Danny grinned. Sam looked stunned as she glanced over at her best friend. "THANKS FOR BEING THERE FOR ME TODAY, SAM!"

"I'M YOUR FRIEND! I'LL ALWAYS BE THERE FOR YOU, DANNY!" Sam winked over at him. The two shared a smile, and high above them, Cupid flew overhead, masked by fireworks, as the two teens joined hands…

* * *

THE END


End file.
